


Cheer Up, Cheer Up, Shut Up

by starrylitme



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Banter, Budding Love, Childhood Friends, Complicated Relationships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship/Love, Idolization, Introspection, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Instability, Multi, Possibly Unrequited Love, Romantic Friendship, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Crush, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9617249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: Akamatsu Kaede's his dearest childhood friend. Saihara Shuuichi is the cute new shy transfer student with an unfortunate crush. Amami Rantarou's a guy who just goes with the flow....isn't he?(“Have I always been this way? Do you know? Do youknow?Please tell me.”)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl, this is pretty indulgent and deals more with personal preferences than actual canon, though there supposedly is some canon stuff in there. But nothing too spoilery since this is an AU. Mostly written when I was pondering the v3 characters and the kinds of relationships they'd probably have with one another and also the kind of relationships I'd just like to see. Kaede and Amami as Gay Childhood Friends was one of my deepest desires. So here I am writing about them with Saihara thrown in for good measure.
> 
> And then it turned into this. Well, I hope y'all like it.
> 
> I'd really appreciate being told some thoughts. Like, I'd /really/ appreciate it. :'D
> 
> (I might continue it, I want to, but we shall see.)

People are talking about his childhood friend again.

“Oh, there’s Akamatsu-san.”

“She really is stunning, isn’t she?”

She laughs, and the two sigh after her. With a smile playing on his lips, he only watches them with a narrowing gaze. One of them notices, and they can’t help but nervously laugh.

“You uh, really are one lucky guy, Amami.”

“Oh no,” Amami laughs in return. It’s not as bright as hers, he knows, but it’s calm all the same. “Kae-chan can be really unattractive in the mornings. She gets _grumpy_.”

The guy laughs again, more genuinely. “Oh man, I’d pay to see that.”

His friend is nodded in amused agreement.

Amami’s tempted to say more, to go further into Kaede and her insistence on eggs being an essential part of breakfast, Kaede and her abject refusal to hitch a ride on his bike, Kaede and that irritating habit she has of tapping her fingers along the table’s surface, as though the smooth wood were piano keys.

Kaede who would gush for hours on end about the cute girls in their class if he let her. Kaede who could spend as much time staring at skirts as she did piano sheets. Kaede, his dearest childhood friend and mutual confidant, beloved Class Rep and a natural born leader in some respects.

Admired by many with so few aware she would never have any semblance of interest in getting a boyfriend.

“Kae-chan is something else,” he says, and they agree just as before.

* * *

His parents remarked that he had always been mild-mannered and mellow as a child. And how lucky that was—because wasn’t it ideal for an older brother to be gentle? Admittedly, he doesn’t remember much past that.

But he does remember that Kaede loved the piano even when she couldn’t pronounce any of the famous classical songs or composers. He does remember the way she dazzled others even early on. His sisters and his parents adored her. His parents were proud.

The two of them had been subtly pushed together for longer than either of them would care to remember. Supposedly they kissed once, maybe twice. And each time upon recalling that, Kaede would wrinkle her nose in discomfort. For him, it was also an uncomfortable thought.

That thought being pushed on them may have resulted in a falling out or two. He’s really not sure. He can’t quite remember. There’s a lot of things he can’t remember. His memory’s terrible.

But—it’s hard to forget Kaede’s stricken face, and it’s hard to forget her crushingly desperate grip on his hands.

“Please don’t be mad,” she said, she pleaded. “Please, Tarou-kun, don’t be mad.”

 _At you or Yurika?_ He wondered, and then wondered what this concern was for. It’s not like he had it in him to be mad at one of his sisters and his dearest friend over—whatever this was.

_What had it been?_

“Don’t tell anyone, okay?” Kaede had whispered into his shoulder. “Please... Don’t tell anyone...”

“Okay, Kae-chan.”

Somehow, that had become their relationship. If nothing else, he’s sure of that much.

* * *

“Harukawa-san wore her hair in a single ponytail today,” he said, watching with amusement as Kaede froze, a shiver almost visibly going up her spine. “Momota-kun kept complimenting her. For someone so stoic, Harukawa-san looks really _pretty_ when embarrassed, doesn’t she?”

“Harukawa-san is always pretty,” Kaede finally replies, stiffly and almost a little huffy. “But I find it suspicious you take notice of that now. Are you jealous since Momota-kun was complimentary?”

“Momota-kun’s a fine fellow, but I don’t think he's my type, Kae-chan,” he said cheerfully, picking trash as he did. Kaede huffed again, and pushes a desk with her hip so that she could sweep better. For a moment, his gaze lingers on her arm band. “Say, Kae-chan...”

“ _Ouma-kun_ ,” she groans, suddenly and staring down at a marked-up desk with dismay. “I keep telling him not to write on it...”

“If he’s not bullying anyone, I say leave him be.”

“Urgh, Iruma-san keeps sticking gum under her desk...”

“I don’t think she’ll ever stop doing that.”

“Shirogane-san left her sketchbook... She’s really going to be aggravated when she realizes."

“Do you think she and Angie-san share notes?”

“There’s a ladybug in Gonta-kun’s desk.”

“We should probably open a window and let it out.”

A pause. Kaede went over to the window and opened it. The ladybug flew off her hand and into the orange sky. Kaede stared after it, and then she stared at the clouds, almost with a contemplative, unreadable gaze. The pale purple of her irises almost seemed glassy before she blinked a few times, and turned to him, leaning against the window sill with only an easy smile.

Kaede frowns, and looks back towards the sky.

“It’s just another day, isn’t it?”

“Well, it certainly isn’t a night, is it?”

“Are you going to call your family today?”

Amami pauses for just a moment, just before answering. “I don’t think so. Not today, at least. I just saw them for Erika-chan’s birthday, after all.”

“I see,” Kaede says. “I’m thinking of talking to my mother. She’s going to be happy to hear I’ve been doing so well...”

“Yes, she will,” Amami agreed.

“...It’s a lot of hard work but I'm managing...”

“That’s part of what makes you an excellent leader, Kae-chan,” he said cheerfully. “I’m sure she'll be proud.”

“She’s going to ask about Tarou-kun, too,” she adds, almost absentmindedly, twirling a strand of blond hair around her fingers. For a moment, he stares at her silver musical note clips and how they reflect an almost sharp light. “What do you think I should tell her about the trouble you’re getting into?”

"What trouble?" he asks, chuckling as he did. "I'm anything but a troublesome guy, Kae-chan."

“You aren’t?” she asks, sardonically and disbelievingly. “Oh, well, if you say so.”

He laughs again.

“I should still keep an eye on you,” Kaede goes on. “After all, some people are just too suspicious to be left to their own devices.”

“I’m not a suspicious person, Kae-chan.”

She just gives him a look.

It takes a while for the two of them to return to cleaning with how long the staring contest lasts.

* * *

The transfer student is one who has his attention almost immediately.

Saihara Shuuichi introduces himself with a nervous bow, eyes down, fidgety hands, and a pink blush coloring his pale cheeks. Amami can hear some girls quietly giggle, some guys chuckle lightly, and he swallows. And he listens closely, focusing intensely on Saihara’s mumbly words that were barely above a whisper.

“I...like detective mysteries and I, er, hope I can...get along with all of you.”

“Pleased to meet you, Saihara-kun.” The polite response, directed by Kaede, is in near perfect harmony.

Kaede gives her usual sunny smile. Amami can see the way Saihara stares back, gray eyes slowly widening, and lips parting because he hurriedly nods.

 _Oh, of course._ Just a little, his smile strains. Just a little, he’s disappointed but hardly surprised.

Just a little, he feels bad for Saihara, getting more and more flustered as Kaede greets him formally as is expected of the Class Rep. Poor Saihara, who chokes on his ‘yes’ as Kaede says the two of them should be friends.

 _Poor Saihara-kun,_ Amami thinks as his smile steadies itself.

* * *

“Saihara-kun... He’s really shy, but he’s a good person,” Kaede says easily as she picks at her rice. “Don’t scare him off, Tarou-kun.”

“Why, whatever do you take me for, Kae-chan? I’m one of the most nonthreatening people out there!”

Kaede snorted.

“Nonthreatening,” she repeated, quirking a brow. “You’re the kind of person who’d be a mastermind in the novels Saihara-kun likes to read.”

“That’s a vicious show of prejudice, Kae-chan, and I expected better from you.”

Kaede rolled her eyes. “No, you’re _definitely_ a suspicious guy. I’m just being honest.”

“Should the class idol and _Class Rep_ really have such a sharp tongue?” he wondered.

“Ooh, for someone so _nonthreatening_ , you sure are _cheeky_.” Kaede took a bite of her rice, tapping her chopsticks against the bento’s edge. “Do you like Saihara-kun?”

“He’s a pretty likable person, isn’t he? I certainly don’t have any reason to dislike him,” Amami said.

“He’s your type,” Kaede said, pretty dryly. “I think you two would get along.”

“Oh yes, I can see us maintaining a really _deep_ friendship,” Amami’s tone lowered into something undoubtedly suggestive, and his smile didn’t change a little. “Don’t you think so?”

“Saihara-kun would have to get used to you first, Tarou-kun," Kaede replied flippantly, even as she gave him a not _quite_ disgusted look. But it soon softened as she asked, “Would you help him settle in? For some reason, you’re cordial enough that people feel calm around you.”

“What kind of person would turn down such a _pure-hearted_ request from his dearest _friend_?”

“I take it back,” Kaede snapped, pointing at him with her chopsticks. “Stay away from him.”

“Oh Kae-chan, have mercy on my impudent soul!”

“I really will tell Saihara-kun to be wary of you if you don’t _stop_.”

At Amami’s pouting face and puppy eyes, she didn’t even falter.

“You’ve definitely got it _wrong_ if you think that look will work on me, Tarou-kun.”

_Really for someone so sunny, Kae-chan is frigid!_

"Kae- _chan_!" he whined.

Kaede just turned away with an _hmph_ and puffed out cheeks. Amami poked her cheek, prodding the rosiness of it as though it could just burst any second now.

“Kae-chan,” he says again, voice dragging. “Kae-chan, Kae-chan, _please_.”

Kaede nearly bit him.

“You're dangerous,” she answered matter-of-factly. “I’m definitely going to keep Saihara-kun safe from you.”

“Oh, fine,” he just sighs. “It’ll give me more opportunities to cry to Iidabashi-kun, and he’ll hear about how mean you are.”

Kaede stiffened. “That’s low.”

Amami’s grin turned cheeky. Kaede smacked his shoulder.

“That’s _LOW_! You know he’s going to take you completely at face value!”

“Oh, you’re concerned about that?”

“He gripes at me _enough_ , Tarou-kun!”

“Isn’t that because he thinks highly of you?” he asks in a sing-song tone. “You’re so flustered, Kae- _chan_!”

“Ugh. Don’t make _me_ complain about you.” Kaede very nearly sounded threatening. “Gonta-kun already thinks your manners could use some work. And Chabashira-san already has suspicions about you like the suspicious person you are. Not to mention, you’d leave a bad impression on Saihara-kun.”

Amami stiffened for just a moment.

“If you’re nice to me, I’ll put in a good word for you,” Kaede goes on, matter-of-fact and to the point. “That way, you’ll have better chances of winning him over.”

_That’s if he likes guys. And isn’t he already enamored with you? Still, that’s..._

“A tempting offer,” he concedes nonetheless. “So, can I introduce myself to him later?”

“You don’t need my permission for that, Tarou-kun,” she said.

“Ah, alright. Can I have your bun, then?”

Kaede slapping his hand away answered that particular question.

* * *

One day, a perfect opportunity arises after class in which everyone else hurries out for one reason or another, but Saihara stayed behind in his desk. Kaede, of course, has places to be so she’s on her way out as well, but she paused. And she turns back to Saihara, smiling.

“Saihara-kun, I’ll see you later.”

“Y-Yes!” Saihara stammers back as Amami watches. “I-I’ll...see you, Akamatsu-san.”

Kaede’s smile brightens, but then she catches his gaze, and she acknowledges him. The only other guy still at their desk, cheerful as ever, and of course Saihara notices as well. Saihara especially pays attention when Kaede addresses him with,

“Tarou-kun.”

“Kae-chan,” he returns easily, unaffected as ever. “I’ll be seeing you too, won’t I?”

“Of course you will,” she responded dryly, hand on her hip and eyes narrowed. “But you can’t oversleep tomorrow. You said you’d help me plan the upcoming sports event. Remember?”

“My terrible memory has been refreshed, Kae-chan, no worries.”

“And that just makes me worry more,” Kaede sighed before managing a smile in spite of herself. Her stare flickers between him and Saihara. Saihara flinched and quickly ducks his head in shame. With Saihara no longer observing, she shoots him a meaningful look to which Amami just widens his smile.

“I’ll see you, Kae-chan,” he repeats.

“Yeah,” she agrees, and waves him off as she goes. “See you, Tarou-kun.”

And just like that, they’re alone. Saihara is staring hard out the window. His cheeks are noticeably pink.

It’s a perfect opportunity so, Amami stands, gathering up his bag, and heads over there.

"Saihara-kun, greetings.”

“Oh, greetings, er...” Saihara quickly turned to him only to pause, looking him over briefly, before giving a small smile. “Ah, Amami-kun, was it?”

“Right-o. Amami Rantarou, at your service.” He winks, smile widening as he leans back against one of the desks. Saihara blinks, but he doesn’t seem sure how to react other than to maintain that polite air. It’s cute. He’s cute. “How are you? How would you say you’re getting along with everyone thus far? I’m ah, only asking out of curiosity, of course.”

“I’m...fine...” Saihara’s mumbling a bit. He’s not really looking at him anymore, instead seeming fixated on the room’s corner.

_Surely I’m a much more interesting sight than that..._

“Oh, that’s good!” Amami exclaims with a joyful clap, smile so brilliant it was almost blinding. “See, I’m someone who worries a great deal for my classmates, and it’s really important that no one feel left out, regardless of where they came from.”

“Oh, thanks,” Saihara replies with a firm nod. “Er, for worrying about me, I mean.”

“Think nothing of it!” he chirped. “After all, you’re my precious classmate, Saihara- _kun_.”

Saihara’s blushing quite darkly as he just nods a few times. It’s adorable. He’s _adorable_.

“So I was thinking, since you’re new, I can help show you around,” Amami goes on. “Let’s be _friends_ , Saihara-kun, I’ll be sure to take very good care of....”

“You’re Akamatsu-san’s boyfriend, right?”

The sudden question, burst so abruptly from Saihara’s mouth, and stammered so preciously, startled him into silence. He may have recoiled, blinking several times, and then he took in Saihara’s expression. That downcast, insecure, dreading expression with only a flicker of damning hope in his eyes.

Oh. _Right._ The thought is almost sobering as Amami relaxes, and the corner of his smile twists. _Poor Saihara-kun._

“You mean Akamatsu Kaede-chan, right?”

“Who else...?” Saihara asked, quietly and almost agitatedly. Amami, internally, rolls his eyes at himself.

_Who else, indeed._

“Ah, so you did mean _Kae-chan_.”

That pet name has Saihara flinch. Saihara does furiously nod, but he’s somehow even more uncertain than before.

“Y... Yeah. So, Amami-kun, you and Akamatsu-san...?”

“Oh, we’re...”

He’s supposed to say yes. When a guy is clearly interested in Kaede, it’s almost his duty to step in before they pursue her a little too aggressively. This is a role Kaede trusts him with, and of course, he may tease her more than anyone else, may give her the hardest time, but...at the end of the day, they look out for each other. He keeps away the guys, she keeps away the girls.

They look out for each other. And Saihara may be cute, but he really shouldn’t be allowed to get his hopes up where Kaede’s involved.

...But. Saihara is doing a poor job at looking up at him with these big gray eyes that are so _insecure_ and almost pleading. He's clearly getting more and more unsettled, but there's also that hope, tightening his features and allowing him to steady himself. Or maybe, just maybe, Saihara is learning here and now how to be more confident.

Amami would _hate_ to deflate him.

And, more seriously, does he really have it in him to lie to a face like that...?

Sadly, he already knows the answer.

“We’re just childhood friends. We’re not dating or anything like that, Saihara-kun.”

“Oh, really?” Saihara almost looked relieved, but he reeled himself back with, “You two are...just friends?”

"We’re just friends, and we have absolutely no interest in being anything more than that."

Of course, there’s more to it, but the conviction in his tone is something Saihara is the kind of person to take at face value. At least, at first. The way Saihara nods understandingly, and the way he seems to get sheepish for having received such an answer is endearing.

Amami, despite feeling an undeniable tenseness to the atmosphere, can’t help but have a softening smile. “Kae-chan is a wonderful person though, isn’t she?”

“Y-Yes, she is,” Saihara stammers, blush deepening and he plays with the dark blue strands obscuring half his gaze. Kaede used to pinch at her fringe the same way before she grew out her bangs. Amami chuckles, and Saihara just goes on. “Um, I’m, really sorry for asking something like that, Amami-kun.”

“It’s nothing. I get that question a lot,” Amami says with a laugh.

Saihara just ends up wavering. “You do?”

_Oh, goodness, he’s almost **hopelessly** cute._

“Often by Kae-chan’s friends,” he explains, lightly and good-naturedly. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed Saihara-kun but I, like Kae-chan, am also quite popular and good-looking.”

Saihara perked up, snorting before slamming a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. At Amami’s crooked grin and flirtatious wink, Saihara started shaking.

Somehow after a short while, he managed to regain himself, clearing his throat and waving his hand.

“I-I wouldn’t doubt it,” he said. “Amami-kun, you definitely...have a strong personality like Akamatsu-san... I’m rather envious...”

“Envious?” Amami echoes cheerfully. “Really, Saihara-kun, you leave quite the impression on people yourself.”

“Really?” Saihara asks, laughing. He’s not meeting his gaze, and his smile is faltering before it falls completely. “Not that I doubt you, Amami-kun, but I do find that hard to believe...”

“Saihara-kun...” He starts. But Saihara has taken up his bag and finally stood from his seat.

“I really should get going,” Saihara mumbles. “Amami-kun, thank you for talking to me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Amami replies easily. “You really don’t need to thank a friend for being friendly. We’re friends, aren’t we, Saihara-kun? Or is that pushing it?”

“I-If you’re really alright with that, I...won’t refuse...” He swallowed, and he’s still not meeting his gaze, instead looking closer towards the ground. But he is smiling a little, at least. “Um, please take good care of me.”

“Of course.”

Saihara nodded. Amami nods back.

“I’ll see you, Saihara-kun.”

With that, Saihara bows respectfully before heading out. Amami watches him leave with a fond smile, one that fades as soon as he’s left alone in a classroom flooded with the low orange sunlight of the afternoon.

* * *

“Hello, hello, Saihara-kun.”

“Good morning, Amami-kun.”

“Kae-chan is showing you around the school today, isn’t she?”

“Ah, yes...”

“Perhaps I should go with you two so that you don’t get lost?”

“T-That’s...”

“A bad idea,” Kaede finishes, making Saihara jump at her sudden appearance. Still, Kaede was giving a look for Amami and Amami alone. “Your sense of direction is terrible, Tarou-kun. You can never remember where anything _is_.”

“Hey now, I have good enough intuition leading me the way,” Amami replies, even as he looked a bit embarrassed. “I’ve even gotten better at recalling at least some landmarks.”

“Once I had to call Hoshi-kun to find you because you somehow ended up at the athletics department,” she shot back. “And then there was that time you got lost in the _library_. You’re lucky Shinguuji-kun was there.”

“I know where my apartment is, Kae-chan.”

“And that’s about the extent of it, _right_?”

“Um,” Saihara kind of steps between them, or at least he shuffles a bit uncomfortably. “You really don’t have to trouble yourself, Amami-kun.”

“But we’re friends now, aren’t we? And safety in numbers!” Amami chirped matter-of-factly. “That way you have two people to protect you just in case, Saihara-kun.”

“But if you two just keep on fighting...” Saihara began, hardly looking at ease. “I don’t think the situation will be...ideal.”

“No, wait, Tarou-kun might have a point,” Kaede spoke up suddenly, eyes gleaming. “If someone corners us, we can sacrifice him and escape to safety.”

“That’s true! I can sacrifice myself for the greater good!” Amami exclaimed cheerfully.

“You don’t have to sacrifice yourself, Amami-kun...”

“ _I_ could sacrifice myself,” Kaede offered, to which Saihara immediately shook his head furiously in protest.

“No, I don’t want _anyone_ sacrificing themselves!”

The two traded looks at how flustered Saihara really got from exclaiming that.

“We were just joking around, Saihara-kun,” Kaede said, sweetly and comfortingly. “Sorry—did we upset you?”

“N-No, Akamatsu-san, but...” Saihara’s head bowed. “I... Sorry. I just get overwhelmed easily.”

“Ah, oh dear, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you, Saihara-kun,” Amami said, frowning as he did. “I sincerely apologize. Shall I just leave you and Kae-chan be?”

“No...” Saihara rubs at the back of his neck, swallowing. “I don’t mind your presence, Amami-kun. Besides... It’s a good opportunity to refresh your memory on where everything is, if what Akamatsu-san says is true.”

Amami hums contemplatively. Kaede just sighs.

“You _wanted_ the refresher, didn’t you, Tarou-kun?” she asked. “You should’ve just said so. It’s not like I would’ve minded. And I don’t think Saihara-kun would’ve judged you.”

“I wouldn’t have,” Saihara agreed, nodding along.

And, so quickly it could have been imagined, Amami saw Saihara’s soft gaze flicker towards him hesitantly before averting just as suddenly. He stiffened for a moment, especially when mentally comparing that look to Kaede’s unwavering, scolding stare, before he just laughed.

“You two are quite the reliable pair, aren’t you? Our class really is fortunate!”

Kaede perked up as Saihara’s face darkened and he immediately denied with, “Not, uh, really, I’m not...”

“Tarou-kun’s not the person who’d bother with false flattery,” Kaede said, quickly but also gently as she flashed him a smile. “Accept his compliments with a smile and a thank you, alright?”

Saihara stares back for a moment, but he does turn to Amami with a small smile and a, “Thank you, Amami-kun.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, it’s nothing,” Amami lies with ease, even as his heartbeat skips. “Well, well, we should go, shouldn’t we?”

“Yes, yes,” Kaede says cheerfully. Saihara nods along.

The tour had been very nice and very refreshing indeed.

* * *

The days in general seemed to just pass by with a general ease, even when it came to Saihara being integrated with everyone else.

Because, unsurprisingly, the other classmates take to him quickly. They had quickly taken to Kaede as well. He knows them all well enough to know they’re generally quite the...overly familiar bunch.

Sometimes, he’d see Saihara, and he’d almost immediately call out to greet him. He’d just stop, because he’d then notice Momota happily talking with him, an arm around his shoulders. Or because he’d see that Saihara was already being badgered by Iruma. And sometimes, it’d be because Iidabashi was already calling his name, wanting Saihara’s opinions on some robotics project of some kind. Saihara, who could still be so shy, could converse with their eccentric classmates with a building ease.

It really isn’t a surprise—and really, he’s already used to the situation being this way with Kaede.

He can’t count the number of times he’d see and almost greet his childhood friend, only for any and all words to die with someone else got to her first.

Like when Yumeno took her arm, when Shirogane grabbed her hand, or when Chabashira bumped shoulders with a loud laugh.

And, well, Kaede’s probably been in this very position where he’s involved as well. They’re all friends, after all. It’s a tightly-knit group, all things considered. If Ouma isn’t harassing other students or trying to talk Kaede into joining his secret organization that may or may not have existed, he was latched onto Amami’s arm with a wide grin. Toujou is such an easy person to converse with that he favors her company when times are stressful. Angie’s certainly made sculptures in his likeness as she has with Kaede and the others.

They’re a class. There’s a camaraderie that just comes with being all in the same classroom. Saihara was newer, so some latched onto him quickly. Saihara lacked the usual confidence and assurance—but that, too, was a draw for some of the students.

It’s hardly a surprise. People are social creatures by nature. Even someone like Saihara, in spite of his insecurities, would flourish in a community.

He’s happy for him, of course. He’s a little relieved, absolutely.

Something like that.

...Something like that.

* * *

Harukawa has a lovely voice and Kaede plays in a way to enhance it. It always takes some urging, gesturing, and Kaede’s sweetest, rosiest pleading, but there’s no denying that the two of them sound wonderful together. Harukawa sings, voice rising and falling in harmony with the piano keys, and it’s the very essence of grace and beauty.

Of course, Kaede, with her delicate fingers and elegant playing, looked all the more angelic. But, Amami would catch her quick, ardent little glances, the subtle twisting of her smile, and how she colored in just the way it’d be concealed by her blush and the light.

There’s something almost tragically ironic as guys sigh and admire, and Amami would be lying if he said he wasn’t envious. Sweeping his hair from his face, he just sighs on his own, and... Well, he finds his stare wandering over to Saihara, taken and positively fixated with the scene.

Maybe it’s Kaede’s playing. Maybe it’s Kaede’s serene smile. Maybe it’s the way Kaede’s soft blonde hair looks almost like a halo. They all make for a pretty attractive image after all, supposedly.

One time, Kaede tried to lean against the piano in a way meant to be seductive, eyebrows raised and smirk suggestive. Harukawa hadn’t been very impressed, and Kaede was so _quick_ to play the whole thing off as a joke. Iruma laughed at her, of course, as had he, and the usual pretty pink of Kaede’s cheeks burned into quite the furious red.

Kaede playing painted such a different image than Kaede flailing in frustration.

It’s hard not to wonder if both images would be viewed with the same positive appraisal. It’s hard not to wonder exactly what the case would be for Saihara Shuuichi, someone who has the sincerest disposition Amami has ever seen.

One of the sincerest, at least. He might meet someone sincerer with time, some other fool he’ll be a little too fond of. He really should keep his options open, but...

It hadn’t take long for him to realize how much he’s both drawn to and intimidated by Saihara’s sincerity. Saihara with his soft-spoken words and insecure gaze—Saihara who can’t seem to really meet anyone’s eyes is quite the intimidating person.

When Harukawa bows, with that stoic expression, and Kaede enthusiastically applauds while praising her. The audience, as always as expected, follows her lead.

Saihara too, claps hard enough that it almost sounds like it hurts, but he’s pushed back by the crowd of admirers that latch onto the opportunity to fawn over the oh-so-beloved Class Rep and one of the most mysterious class beauties. Saihara rocks on his heels, trying to catch a glance or perhaps trying to catch the slightest sliver of Kaede’s attention, and Amami’s smile strains just a little, just for a moment.

He can’t help but think to himself he’s going to give Kaede a harder time than usual the next time the two of them interact. They’ve been so civil with each other as of late, after all. Picking at one another is such an effective way to relieve their frustration.

But, it’s funny.

When Saihara manages to catch Kaede’s attention, when Kaede laughs and smiles and thanks him for his flattery... The way Saihara blushes so darkly even against his dark, dark hair, and the way he preciously looks down, biting his lip as Kaede so gently _teases_ him...

Frustration has fizzled into something hollow. And Amami is not quite sure what he’s supposed to do about that.

So, he just bows out.

* * *

It’s a very rainy day, so the bus is running late. Not that he’s using it, considering his hatred of all automobiles with buses included. The bus stop just makes for a convenient shelter from the rain. His bike is getting even more soaked and he’s already shaking from dampness and cold.

“Tarou-kun?”

Kaede has her pink umbrella, held steadily against the wind with a curious frown. She looked him over, up and down, and her frown twitched, deepening with dismay.

“What did I tell you about remembering to bring an umbrella?” She puts a hand on her hip as she glares. Then she scoffs, “This is what happened when you’re unprepared.”

“But you know me,” Amami replies, light-heartedly as ever. “Just a _go with the flow_ kind of guy.”

“You could catch a cold,” Kaede pointed out, lips pursed.

“Ouma-kun says that’s impossible,” Amami said cheerfully. “Because I’m too stupid to get sick.”

“Urgh, Ouma-kun,” Kaede muttered with a grimace and a roll of her eyes. “I’m going to have to scold him again.”

“You do you, Mom.”

“Wow, gross.”

At Kaede’s unimpressed look, he really couldn’t help but laugh. Kaede kept that frown of hers, but the atmosphere lightened all the same, and she took a seat next to him. Her dripping, bunched up umbrella laid propped up against the bench.

With a hum, she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and offered it.

“Here. Wipe your face, at least.”

“Thank you, Kae-chan.”

The fabric is expectably soft, with Kaede’s name embroidered in the corner, but flourished to look like the symbols were the notes on a music sheet, with a curly treble clef in front and a pair of eighth notes in the back. Really cute, and completely expected from the style to the pinkish tint. He hums contemplatively.

“So, what were you doing, Kae-chan?”

“Oh, me?” Kaede blinks back at his glance, but answers nonchalantly all the same.  “I was walking Angie-san home. She also forgot her umbrella, you see.”

“Ah, so you shared with Angie-san,” Amami notes, chuckling as his gaze not so subtly flickers down. "That explains how your skirt got wet in spite of the umbrella.”

“ _Buh_! Because she jumped in a _puddle_!!” Kaede insisted, flushed and fuming. Then with a huff, she turned away in irritation. “I swear sometimes you’re worse than Iruma-san. More insidious.”

“Ooh, that’s a disservice to Iruma-san,” Amami droned. “Because she’s actually a shy maiden, remember?”

“She’s definitely a lot _purer_ than you are,” Kaede said.

“And _you_ , right, Kae-chan?”

Kaede flinched. For a moment, she looked very, genuinely troubled.

Then, shakily, she just laughs.

“That’s... That’s really low... Are you _angry_ at me, Tarou-kun?”

“Oh, no,” he says easily, perking up. “I didn’t really mean anything by that, Kae-chan, I...”

“You’re a liar.”

 _Ah._ Amami shuts his mouth. And she goes on.

“I don’t really have much room to talk, of course... But I like to think I’m managing the best I can... It’s just hard not to fold under everyone’s expectations of me.” She pauses, and then, “I sometimes feel like I’m being dangled like a marionette on strings to the point where my limbs seriously ache... But I can’t just rest. And I can’t just give up, give in, or anything like that.”

“Yes,” he agrees, feeling almost numb. “That is...true, isn’t it?”

“You know it’s the truth, Tarou-kun,” Kaede said matter-of-factly, standing and looking up towards the gray, downcast sky above. “You’re one of few people who do.”

“It’s a mystery how I got to be so privileged,” he replied sardonically, but with a smile playing on his lips.

Kaede just laughs, and it doesn’t sound completely sincere, but it sounds more like her than a lot of the laughs he’s heard throughout their school days.

“It’s a mystery,” she echoes, smiling back at him, looking truly bright against the clouds.

 _It’s no wonder Saihara-kun and so many others look towards you._ He thinks, and despite the strain, his smile widens just a little more. _You’re **really** something else, aren’t you?_

* * *

Saihara is not the first guy to be taken with his dearest childhood friend. He certainly won’t be the last. He’s not even the first guy that he was taken with, only to be stuck watching them fawn over Kaede instead.

He likely won’t be the last. Kaede’s a wonderful person after all.

It’s not as though he’ll love her any less, even as these unfortunate happenstances keep piling up. And, well, he’s certainly had more than a few of Kaede’s crushes confess to him. And Kaede very maturely didn’t say anything to him after he turned them down, even as some had come crying to her after.

He knows all too well what it's like to cry on Akamatsu Kaede’s shoulder. She must have been very careful, letting them sob into her blouse, holding them oh so gently as she cooed and comforted.

And the most grief she’d give him about it was a pained smile. She didn’t even scold him. And, why would she? He hadn’t done anything _wrong_ , per say.

Still, it was...difficult to take at times. Kaede flailing, Kaede flustered with frustration, Kaede smacking his shoulder and turning away with a high and mighty huff... Those times were so _much_ easier.

But, maybe it’d be easier if he accepted that sometimes, he and his dearest childhood friend truly, genuinely, if only for the moment, resent one another.

It’d make all their mockery and jokes at the others’ expense come across as so much crueler, but, hey, at least the two of them would be honest for once.

It’s just that honesty is a dangerous thing.

He knows it.

Kaede knows it.

Honesty can be really, really dangerous and _terrifying_.

* * *

“Oh, I know that novel.”

“You... You do?”

“Yeah, a senpai of mine really liked it.” Amami smiles as he recalls, “He gushed about it for a while. I never read it myself, but it sounded really interesting. How funny you’re a fan of it too, Saihara-kun.”

“That’s definitely an interesting coincidence,” Saihara agreed. He stares down at his open book in a way that clearly wasn’t reading, and then he asks, “Amami-kun, you seem to like a lot of different novels. Do you have a favorite genre?”

“Oh, hmm, do I seem like the kind of person who does?”

Despite the joking nature of his grin, and the almost sing-song way he asked, Saihara’s eyes sharpened with a sudden focus.

“You pick a lot of different novels, but, more often than not, they have a dystopian setting. About characters forced to survive in either a crumbling society or a chaotic anarchy. It’s interesting you'd continuously visit that kind of plotline...” He trails off, and then, discomfort distorts his features into something more familiar, expectable, but with a more strained version of Saihara’s small smile. “Or, something like that?”

“Your attention to detail is impressive. Was it picked up from reading so many detective stories?” Amami asks, eyes half-lidded with an undercurrent of amusement. “For a second, Saihara-kun almost looked like a completely different person.”

Saihara ducks his head. Almost like he’s ashamed.

“Ah, but, I don’t mind,” he goes on. “Learning more about Saihara-kun is so _enlightening_!”

“I-Is it really?” Saihara’s almost unspeakably quiet. His eyes are still hidden by those dark strands.

“Saihara-kun,” Amami says, a little duller but also a little sterner. “You really should have more confidence in yourself, I think. After all...” He’s almost immediately back to cheerful smiles and carefree tones. “It’s much more attractive on you!”

Saihara almost scoffs. “That’s... That sounds ridiculous...”

“It’s true!” he insisted. “Keep in mind, I’m not saying insecurity is a repulsive trait. Most people are insecure. But I think that because it’s _such_ a common hindrance, people are all the more drawn to those who can overcome it with supposed ease. Even people who seem really confident themselves will admire someone who exudes the same level of assurance.”

Saihara blinks at him, eyes looking awfully wide.

“I think one of the most common human desires is to be reassured, be it in that their feelings are validated or that there’s perhaps hope for them in one regard or another,” Amami’s smile widens as he lays his head down upon crossed arms, eyes positively twinkling. “Do you perhaps feel the same way, Saihara-kun?”

“I...” Saihara hesitates. “I, I just...”

“Haha, you don’t have to answer now. I do feel this way quite strongly, but I don’t mean to make the atmosphere so heavy,” Amami practically chirps, “Cheer up, cheer up, it’s just me!”

“Sometimes I really have to wonder about your seriousness, Amami-kun,” Saihara mutters. “Akamatsu-san said something similar to that, but...”

“Oh dear, has Kae-chan been gossiping? I expected so much better of her!”

“It’s...not like that... Akamatsu-san, she...” Saihara almost hisses as he seems to struggle with the words. His frustration is almost palpable, and enough to get Amami’s smile pulling into a downwards frown. “I just...”

“Hey, Saihara-kun, how close would you say you are to Kae-chan right about now?”

“ _Huh_?! I—! T-That’s...!” Saihara’s back to being all flustered and stammering. “I-I haven’t been here for _that_ long, Amami-kun! So how... How am I supposed to...?”

“Well, she’s pretty fond of you,” Amami says matter-of-factly. “When we’re together and when we talk about you, Kae-chan always has nice things to say.”

“Oh, does she...?” He’s definitely embarrassed, and he’s definitely happy if the tugging smile at his lips is any indication.

“Kae-chan likes you,” Amami says, and then, almost blankly, “Just like how she likes everyone.”

“Akamatsu-san’s that kind of person...” Saihara mumbles, nodding in agreement. He didn’t seem to notice. That should be a good thing. But he doesn’t feel all that good when Saihara glances back up at him with an almost rueful smile. “Even if she’s kind to me, I doubt she sees me as a close friend like she does with you, Amami-kun.”

“Ah, but, close friends are all we are,” Amami replies coolly.

_Is that really true? It’s not like all close friends are **confidants**._

Saihara just smiles more, even though it’s clearly forced. “If that’s what you say...”

“You don’t believe me?” he asks, curious. "Do I really come across as someone who would lie about that, Saihara-kun? Especially after all this time?"

“It’s not that you lie, per say...” Saihara muttered, quietly and almost with frustration. “But I can’t help but suspect there’s more to what you _do_ say... Amami-kun.”

“Oh, that’s cold,” Amami says, folded hand against his cheek. “We’re friends, aren’t we? I would’ve thought that’d imply at least a little faith.”

“I-It’s not that I think you're a bad person... You’re free to keep secrets to yourself...”

“Then what’s with that troubled expression, Saihara-kun?”

Saihara doesn’t answer. And so, Amami stood, pushing himself up.

“Come to think of it, I’ve seen Kae-chan with that face before,” he starts, humming contemplatively. “It’s not like I don’t understand. I’ve been around enough people to pick up on how they are.”

“Amami-kun...”

“Saihara-kun,” he returned, seriously enough that Saihara shut his mouth, letting Amami go on, unimpeded. “I really like you. You’re the kind of person that’s easy to root for. Almost an underdog, of sorts, except I think such a term downplays your talents. But, would you like me to be honest?”

“I...” Saihara hesitated. “When you say honest, what do you mean exactly?”

“Oh, that’s an interestingly phrased question,” Amami noted, impressed. “But, of course, what I mean is that I’m going to say something you don’t want to hear. I’ve been sparing your feelings up until now, but it’s starting to risk outright dishonesty towards you. I don’t really want that.”

Saihara swallows, and though he’s still speaking quietly, there’s a firmness to his tone as well. “If you have something to say, you should say it.”

 _...That's definitely something Kae-chan would say._ He can’t help but think. His smile falters. _If nothing else, her admirable traits have rubbed off on you. But you’re still so adorably reserved._

“Kae-chan...is off limits, you see.” He’s almost careful in how he words it. Almost. “I was not lying about Kae-chan being my friend and nothing more, but that doesn’t mean I tolerate other guys trying to pursue her.”

“That’s...” Saihara snapped up, almost disbelieving. But he keeps his stare down, muttering, “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”

_That isn’t obvious?_

“Well, of course there is. People and their relationships are complicated. I, Kae-chan, and our relationship are not exceptions. But you’re not going to get a detailed explanation on that from me.” His smile saddens, just a bit. “I’m sorry, Saihara-kun. That’s a little too personal.”

Saihara stands, almost knocking the chair back, and he’s much louder than before.

“Amami-kun...”

Amami simply pushes in his chair, humming as he did.

“ _Amami-kun_.”

Saihara’s normally soft voice is harder, more aggravated. He’s never heard it quite like that before. He can’t say he’s too fond of it. In the very least, he’s definitely not happy about it.

“I am terribly sorry for not speaking up sooner,” Amami finds himself saying. “As I said, I didn’t wish to upset you.”

“Why _didn’t_ you say anything, Amami-kun?” Saihara asks, clenching his fists tight. When Amami doesn’t immediately answer, and just keeps on smiling sadly, Saihara slams his hand down on the table’s surface. “Please, just _say_ something!”

Amami didn’t even flinch. His smile just pulls down a little more.

“Please don’t hurt yourself, Saihara-kun.”

Saihara doesn’t say anything to that. He just draws his hand back, sighs, and shakes his head before shutting the still open book. He returns the book to its place on the shelf. He had marked where it had been earlier—Saihara really was such a _diligent_ person.

Amami tugs a bit at his cover, noting that Saihara’s eyes are almost completely hidden by those dark blue strands. He can’t help but think about how there’s probably a _reason_ that Saihara has allowed his bangs to grow so long and doesn’t even bother to clip them back. Flickering his gaze downwards, Amami gives a sigh of his own.

“Saihara-kun, if you’re angry at me, I understand.”

“I’m not angry,” Saihara says, but he’s still not looking his direction at all. “I’m just very frustrated, Amami-kun. How am I supposed to understand your feelings if you don’t talk to me? I’m not a detective.”

“You are very perceptive,” Amami argues. “And you’d be very dependable—if only you just had more confidence...”

Saihara trembles for just a bit.

“Even if it’s something you can say easily...”

“No, I didn’t mean to imply anything untoward,” he quickly says. Maybe, just maybe his usual smile is more forced this time. “I haven’t forgotten that you do _try_ , Saihara-kun. My memory is terrible, but—I do try to remember significant things.”

Saihara looked at him this time. Saihara’s gentle gaze then was—very sad, honestly. He wonders how his smile must look now when it doesn’t _feel_ like anything.

_Have I always felt this way? Have I always been this way?_

Goodness. What a despairing thought.

“Amami-kun... I...” Saihara hesitated, but then, with surprising assertion, he said, “I’m going to talk to Akamatsu-san about this.”

“Do you think you’ll get a straight answer from Kae-chan?” A bit of detestable resentment tugged at the edge of his smile. “Okay. Go ahead, Saihara-kun.”

“I...” Saihara swallowed, but then, “I will.”

With that, Saihara left with purpose. He pulled himself away from the scene with such drive that really, Amami could have resented him too.

_You’re supposed to be reserved. It’s part of what makes you cute._

_Having such resolve is...really **intimidating** , Saihara-kun._

His face felt hot. He really couldn’t tell from what. He really—wasn’t sure what he’d do if he realized.

A part of him hoped to forget it quickly—and another wanted to hold onto it tight and never let go.

**_How troublesome._ **

* * *

His mind went mercifully blank soon enough. He can’t really remember what happened or—how he _got here_ , for that matter.

He does vaguely recognize these flowers. Oh, he knows the type without a doubt— _red tulips, right? His parents had considered naming their third daughter that, but it was too eccentric of a name, so they went with Sumire, instead_ —but he’s struggling a bit to recall which class planted and tended to this garden.

_No one in our grade, right?_

Humming thoughtfully, he presses his chin into his palm, elbow digging a little harder into his lap.

_Oh, yes, wasn’t it one of the classes below ours...?_

“Tarou-kun.”

He perks up, and turns with a carefree smile and a cheerful greeting as would be expected.

“Ah, hello, Kae-chan,” Amami pauses, taking her in, the way golden light is casted against her, still making her look so bright in spite of how darker it was getting outside. He soon goes on, “Lovely, isn’t it? Our underclassmen sure are an impressive bunch.”

Kaede doesn’t say anything.

And he laughs.

“I’m really glad you’re here, actually. As happy as I am to have found this garden, I have no idea where I am.” His smile widens, just a bit more. “I’m hopelessly lost, Kae-chan.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” she replies quietly. “I figured you would be.”

“Oh, you really do know me so well!” he chirped.

_...doesn’t she?_

“Tarou-kun,” she says, and she doesn’t miss a beat. “You told Saihara-kun the truth.” There’s barely even a pause. “Why?”

He blinked a few times, perhaps taken aback or taken by confusion. But he sees that her fists are tightening.

“He confessed to me, Tarou-kun.”

_Oh, so he did._

“So he did...” he muses aloud, almost absentmindedly. He chuckles, but it’s blanker, more obviously vapid. “Well, obviously, you turned him down. I hope he didn’t get upset.”

“Saihara-kun, he...” She trails off and stops before shaking her head. “You really liked him, didn’t you?”

“Well, of course,” Amami says easily, still with that shallow smile. “Saihara-kun is such a likeable person. And so endearing. I’m definitely quite fond of him.”

“I...” Kaede hesitates, and then, “I’m sorry, Tarou-kun.”

“For what?” he asked. This time, he’s nothing but confused. His posture’s straightened. He’s gotten more attentive.

“I think... Saihara-kun will grow to like you quite a bit, too...” She goes on, quietly and almost sheepishly. “You’re a good person, and...you have your good points... As your best friend, I know that better than anyone... So, surely, Saihara-kun will...”

“Kaede.”

She stops almost immediately.

Then, with a sigh, she returns, “Rantarou.”

“Let’s not talk about this anymore,” he says, and he’s looking back at the flowers.

And so they don’t.

Instead, she wipes her hands off her skirt. Instead, she kneels by his side. Instead, she bumps him with her shoulder. She bumps him twice, in fact.

She’s not really looking at him. It’s almost like she’s ashamed. Like she feels guilty. Or maybe she’s just upset. But, eventually, she glances back, meeting his gaze and—her usually stern eyes look almost...piteous.

Something inside him is bubbling up, harsh and hot—and whatever it is just fizzles completely out when he leans in, presses his face into her shoulder, and lets out a coldly cheerful laugh.

“Kae-chan,” he starts. “I’m sorry.”

Kaede is very, very still at first. Slowly, but surely, her arms begin to circle around him.

And he just can’t stop talking.

“I really quite liked Saihara-kun.” His whisper is as soft as it is smooth. Like stating a cold fact. “I really liked him, but, Kae-chan, I’m starting to wonder if I’m even capable of having deeper feelings for someone like that. I don’t—I _like_ him, but I _don’t_...”

He hasn’t started shaking. But she holds him as if he has, tight and close.

“Kae-chan, how long have I been this worryingly shallow? Do you know? Kaede, do you _know_? Have I always been this way?” He laughs and, “How despairing—that’s so despairing.”

“Stop. Just—stop talking like that.” Kaede took a deep hitched breath and pleaded, “ _Please_.”

He does. He’s quiet. So quiet it’s a wonder if he’s breathing. He’s not even sure himself if he is.

“Tarou-kun,” she says. “I’m...sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Well, I forgive you.”

He doesn’t struggle in saying that. Not even a little.

Neither of them don’t say anything else. Kaede just gives him one last squeeze before the two of them really have to be on their way. And, almost like she’s worried about him drifting off and away, she grips his hand tightly as she tugs him along.

There’s a nostalgia to this moment, but—

While Kaede no doubt recalled it, he simply couldn’t remember at all.

He doesn’t say anything about that, either, unsurprisingly.

* * *

The daylight of a school morning was as bright and imposing as others, with many missing the fleeting taste of their three-day break. But the students were quick in catching up and bustling, laughing about what happened on their eventful or not-so-eventful days, and as always, Kaede was quick in greeting everyone with a wave and a sunny smile. She shone as always, perhaps even more so due to the recent piano recital in everyone’s minds where she played spectacularly and movingly. As always.

There’s some distance between the two of them, and he doesn’t mind at all. He really doesn’t. Kaede is laughing, Kaede is smiling, but there’s a cold silence whenever they brush past each other and—it’ll pass. It’s passed before and he can’t even remember what their last slightly significant feud was even about.

So this too, will pass, and he’ll forget all about what caused it. So someday, it’ll be insignificant.

_Insignificant—_

“Oh, Saihara-kun,” Kaede says, a little too loudly to be natural, but still as friendly as ever. “Good morning!”

He looks back. Saihara has tensed, but he nods, not meeting Kaede’s eyes—he never meets anyone’s eyes, does he—and despite everything, he manages a small smile.

“Akamatsu-san,” he returns, shutting his eyes and smiling a bit wider, even with that tense little corner of his lips. “Good morning. It’s good to see you’re doing well.”

Amami moves without thinking, and he really isn’t thinking about how Kaede nods back, how Kaede waves one last time before being on her way, and how—how Saihara stares after her so pensively, so full of thought and emotion.

“Saihara-kun,” he says, getting Saihara’s attention. Saihara perks up, turns back, but he quickly ducks his head.

“Good morning, Amami-kun.” His voice is low. Everything about him is as uncertain as it is—tense.

It’s a kind of stiffness that hurts a little.

But still, he laughs, lightly as always.

“Haha, greetings, greetings, Saihara-kun. How was your break?”

“Oh...” Saihara paused. “It was nice.”

“Oh,” Amami says so brightly. “How good. I’m glad. Did you visit your uncle?”

“Yes...” He nodded quickly. “I did.”

“Oh, was he of good health?”

Another nod.

“I see, I see. How nice. I...”

 ** _Really?_** He stops himself. For just a moment as thoughts come through. **_You’re seriously bothering with a one-sided conservation this dreary? Something you’ll undoubtedly forget the second it’s over?_**

“I...”

**_How disgusting._ **

“I’m... I’m glad. Haha. Haha.”

And _yet_.

“You seem to be doing well as well, Saihara-kun. How lovely. I’m glad.”

**_Have you always been this way?_ **

“Thank you...” Saihara’s almost too quiet. But he’s still being polite, even when so uncertain. “Um, Amami-kun, look...”

“Huh, huh?” He tilts his head, smiling and feeling nothing of the sort. “What is it, what is it?”

**_Why?_ **

“Akamatsu-san...turned me down as you probably guessed,” he mutters it, like it’s something he’s not sure if Amami knows already or not. That’s fine. That’s fine. “But we’re still friends so I’m...alright.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Saihara goes on. “I’m fine, really—it hurts a little, but I know I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Haha. That’s great. I’m glad.”

**_Why?_ **

“Um...” Saihara hesitates just a little move, never meeting his gaze or his smile. Amami’s eyes are shut, but he knows well enough how Saihara’s physically reacting without the need to see it for himself. “So... Ah. I...also wanted to...”

“Wanted what?” he asks cheerfully.

“Um...” Saihara hesitates even more. He shuffles uncomfortably under a cool, blank green gaze. “I just wanted...”

Amami waits.

“I wanted to know if _you_ were alright,” Saihara mutters, fixated on some indistinct corner. “We’re also friends so, if something’s bothering you, Amami-kun...”

“Oh...” He just smiles more. “Haha, I’m fine. But thank you for worrying about me, Saihara-kun.”

**_Please help me._ **

“It’s nothing,” Saihara says, shrugging. “I mean, we’re friends so...”

“Oh, of course,” Amami agrees. Distantly, except he sounds as he always does, smiling merrily as he always is. But—for some reason, he reaches out _and_ —

So very _gently_ —

He brushes the hair from Saihara’s face to get a proper look at his eyes. Saihara’s pretty eyes going immediately wide and—ah, that’s definitely fear like one would see in a cornered animal. That’s definitely alarm and there’s never been a sound that’s resounded in his head quite as much as that of Saihara slapping his hand away.

His hand stings. He thinks. He doesn’t really feel it, even as he rubs at it.

“O-Oh...” Saihara’s completely lost face and confidence now. He looks beyond guilt-ridden and apologetic. He swings down for a bow. “I’m—I’m _sorry_! I just... I’m so sorry, Amami-kun... I’m so sorry...”

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he says. He’s still smiling. “You’re still a very good friend, Saihara-kun.”

Saihara flinched at that. But otherwise, he seems to be paralyzed.

Thankfully, Amami can tell with a quick glance that no one’s really paying attention to them—at most, their gazes are very purposely avoidant. It’s a good thing none of their nosier classmates are present. It’s fortunate.

“I’m very sorry, Saihara-kun,” Amami goes on. For once, his tone is a little lower, more solemn. “Ah, please forget about all this. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine—and I’ll be seeing you, Saihara-kun.”

Saihara perks up, just a little, slowly straightening himself but not quite.

“Amami-kun, I...”

_I really like you._

For a moment, his smile feels pained.

But that moment soon passes.

“I’ll be seeing you,” Amami repeats, and he goes on his way.

“I’ll...see you...” Saihara tentatively responds as he does.

For a while, he can feel Saihara staring after him, no doubt worried and uncertain, and for a while, he quickens his pace just a little until that feeling goes away.

There’s a glare through the windows from the sun, and with a grimace, he threw his arm up to guard his eyes from it.


End file.
